


In Defiance of Rule 12

by PhoenixRising360



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5438087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixRising360/pseuds/PhoenixRising360
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is going to break rule 12. Will Ziva break it with him? Inspired by and written for the Awkward Romance challenge at NFA forum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in season 3, soon after the episode Under Covers but before Boxed In.

Wednesday night. The case was wrapped up in a bow for JAG and the team had walked away from a bad situation slightly worse for wear; a little bruised, a little sore, a whole lot of satisfied that they caught the dirt bag alive and he would stand trial. The case was rock solid.

Gibbs was in his basement measuring a board for cutting when he heard footsteps above. Recognizing Tony's familiar tread, he didn't pause in what he was doing. It wasn't uncommon for his second to show up after a case.

"Hey, Boss," Tony descended the stairs and let his eyes skim the entire surface of the frame of the boat.

Tony noted the sawhorse against the wall and pulled it out a bit to sit on it. That got Gibbs' attention. Usually, Tony just parked himself on the steps. Gibbs frowned. Tony didn't seem upset. If it was a confrontation, he'd probably be standing. If he just wanted to ramble, he'd sit on the steps. No, this was something important.

"Something on your mind, DiNozzo?"

"Actually, yes, but you're probably not going to like it."

Gibbs set the measuring tape down and pulled up another sawhorse, crossed his arms and looked at Tony expectantly.

Tony took a deep breath. "Ziva."

"What about her?"

"I really like her, Boss. A lot. I think the feeling's mutual."

Gibbs snorted. It wasn't like anyone at NCIS had missed the chemistry between Tony and Ziva. There was more gossip about those two than there had been about Gibbs and his last two exes combined. Their rendezvous undercover a few weeks back was still being batted around the scuttlebutt, nearly everyone convinced they actually had sex. Tony had assured Gibbs that they did not and Gibbs believed him. For all his clowning around on the job, when it came to the important stuff, Tony was a professional, and having gone into the undercover op blind, distractions like sex could've been death.

"She and I get along, we tease, we banter. I think we could be good together."

Gibbs frowned, but waited.

"I know what you're thinking, Boss. I wouldn't come here to tell you I'm going to break rule 12 for a one night stand. I can get that anywhere. Ziva deserves better than that."

Gibbs sighed. "You sure about this? If it goes bad, it's a nightmare."

"Thought about that, Boss. We both leave our personal stuff out of work. I don't see it being a problem."

"Yeah, neither did I and now an ex-girlfriend is my boss."

"So it's true! You and the Director…"

"It was a long time ago and if I hear about this in the scuttlebutt…"

"Boss, it's already in the scuttlebutt. Everyone noticed the thing you have with Director Shepherd. Well, actually, the thing she has with you. Maybe the thing you have for her a little bit. Mostly her though."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"You want my opinion, Tony?"

"No. I want your blessing but since I plan on breaking rule 12, I don't expect it." Tony took a deep breath, looked up and met Gibbs' gaze. "Ziva is worth breaking rule 12 for. She's worth pissing you off. I'm going to ask her to go on a date with me on Friday night. We're not on call and I don't want our first date interrupted by a case."

Gibbs fixed his gaze on Tony and Tony met his gaze and waited…for what he wasn't sure, but he waited. After a moment, Gibbs sighed in resignation and nodded. "Just keep it out of the office."

Tony smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. "You got it, Boss." Tony stood up and headed toward the stairs. If he'd turned around, he would've watched as Gibbs' eyes followed him up the stairs with a grim countenance, shaking his head.

~*~

The next morning, Tony timed his arrival to be at the same time as Ziva so he could catch her alone for a moment before they started work. He watched as she got out of her car and followed, jogging to catch up as she neared the elevator.

She did a double-take when she saw him. "You are early, Tony. Do we have a case? I did not get a phone call."

Tony laughed. "No, no case. Well, not yet anyway." They got on the elevator and Tony pressed the button for their floor. He hesitated only a moment once the elevator started moving and stopped it.

Ziva looked over at him in surprise but he had already turned to her and met her gaze with a smile. "Tony, what…?"

"I was wondering if you're free on Friday night," he said, his voice quiet and serious.

"Friday night?" Ziva questioned, her brow furrowed slightly in confusion.

"Yes. I'd like to take you out to dinner. I know a great place that I think you'll really like." Tony reached out and took her hand, lifted it up and gently kissed it.

"You are asking me out on a date?"

"Yes, Ziva. I'm asking you out on a date."

Ziva blinked once, twice. Then, a seductive glint with accompanying smile lit up her face. "I would love to."

"Great!" His face lit up in return and he squeezed her hand lightly before releasing it. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Seven will be fine."

"Can't wait!" Tony turned toward the panel and flipped the elevator switch and it resumed its ascension to their floor.

Ziva cleared her throat, her voice suddenly serious. "I do not think we should tell anyone about this." Ziva looked straight ahead as she spoke.

"No one's business but ours," Tony said with a nod, glancing sideways with an understanding smile. When the elevator door opened, he let her exit first and they walked together to their desks.

"McProbie!" Tony announced as he reached his desk. "You're early."

Tim rolled his eyes. "No, Tony. You're early. I'm here at this time every day."

Tony grinned. "No you're not. Last Tuesday, you showed up at 7:55."

"That was the first time in ages, Tony. I'm not like you. You're almost late every day. Why are you here so early anyway?"

"Had something to do before work this morning."

Tony sat down and started up his computer, thinking about the conversation in the elevator. He noted the sexual quality to her smile but didn't let it bother him too much. It was to be expected really. They'd been flirting and dancing around this for months. He knew he'd talked a lot of crap but she knew about rule 12. She had to know he wouldn't risk Gibbs' wrath for a one night stand. He shifted a little restlessly. He would make sure he made everything clear. Everything would be great. Really. He smiled a little. Spending time with Ziva outside of work, even if all they did was eat and talk would be great.

As his thoughts wandered, he realized he probably should have something else lined up after dinner. If they went to her place right after eating, she would think it was just for sex. For once, that really wasn't the message he wanted to convey. This was about way more than sex but the tension between them had been so high, it was really hard to think about anything else. Yes, he wanted her but he also thought there could be more and he wanted that. Tony smirked a little to himself. He hadn't wanted anything more than sex since Wendy, and that was years ago.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs' bark pulled him out of his reverie and he looked up. Gibbs was standing by his desk holding three cups of coffee and handed Tony one of them. "You're with me. You two, work on cold cases," he said to Ziva and Tim.

Gibbs turned left out of their section of the bullpen and Tony hastily followed him. They ended up spending most of the day in MTAC, stopping only for a late lunch and then going right back and being there most of the evening, going home to sleep and then back to MTAC until mid-Friday afternoon when the op finally wrapped up. Tony didn't have time to think about Ziva or anyone else. Gibbs disappeared and Tony went back to his desk.

"How much longer are you and Gibbs going to work on that op?" Tim wanted to know.

"It's over," was all Tony said. "Go home. Gibbs said be back at 8 on Monday."

He smirked as Tim and Ziva gathered their stuff and Tim headed out. "You coming Ziva? Tony?"

"Nope, I have to write a report. Night, Probie. Have a good weekend." Tony smiled and nodded at him.

"Good night, Tim. I will be leaving soon," Ziva added.

Tim nodded and left. Ziva stopped at Tony's desk. He looked up. "Hey," he smiled.

"We are still going out tonight, yes?"

"Absolutely. Looking forward to it."

"As am I. I will see you at seven." She gave him a little smile before she turned and left.

Tony wrote his report in record time and dropped it in Gibbs' basket. Gibbs looked up when he did and gave him a critical look. "Good work today, DiNozzo."

"Thanks, Boss."

"Date tonight?" he asked.

"Yes."

Gibbs nodded and took a deep breath. "Hope it works out, DiNozzo."

Me too, he thought but didn't say it. "Thanks, Boss. That means a lot." Gibbs nodded, his face rather grim but Tony had always read his entire facial expression, not just his words and his eyes gave him away. Doubt radiated off of him in waves but he wasn't trying to stand in his way and he was being as supportive as he could be under the circumstances. That truly did mean a lot.

He knew he and Ziva had things to discuss, specifically that undercover op and the fact that he wasn't as much a player as he'd made himself out to be, but still, they had a connection. He felt a little uneasy, but he admitted to himself he was nervous. He was about to do something he hadn't done in years. He couldn't remember the last time he went out on a date when the intention wasn't to end up in bed. Given the way Ziva had smiled when he had asked her to go out with him, he feared that she thought that was all he wanted was a one night stand. He hoped once she found out he didn't that she would be pleased, if surprised.

That didn't stop the niggle of doubt sloshing around in his brain.


	2. Chapter 2

At precisely 6:57 p.m., Tony stood outside Ziva's door with a dozen red roses. He hoped the roses wouldn't be considered too cheesy or over-the-top but he really hoped she'd get the message. She answered the door barely moments after he knocked and invited him in. Her eyes registered surprise at seeing the roses and she smiled as she took them from him and headed to the kitchen to fill a vase with water for them. She set them on the table and took a moment to smell them.

"These are beautiful, Tony."

"Glad you like them."

Tony looked her over. She was wearing a black mini skirt and a cream-colored blouse that teased at her cleavage without being revealing. She wore just enough makeup to enhance her eyes and her hair curled down to frame her face and shoulders. She was, in a word, stunning.

"You look beautiful, Ziva."

She smiled at the compliment and as Tony gazed at her, another nagging doubt nipped at his mind. Her smile practically screamed, "Mission accomplished."

"Shall we?" he asked, glancing at the door to indicate they should go. 

Ziva nodded, her smile softened and she led the way to her door, locking it behind her as they exited. They were quiet as they left her apartment building. In the car, a tense silence filled the air. He couldn't explain even to himself how her smile had made him feel though he had the uncomfortable feeling women had felt exactly like that when he had dressed to impress. Ziva kept stealing curious glances at him and he glanced over and smiled a little.

"Tony? Is something wrong?"

Tony stiffened for a second and then relaxed. "No, sorry. Just don't know what to say at the moment."

Ziva chuckled. "Tony, are you actually nervous?"

Tony pulled up to a red light and he looked over at her. She had a curious little smirk on her face as she regarded him, wondering if he actually was. He smiled a little self-deprecatingly. "A little, maybe."

"Why? You certainly were not nervous in that hotel room when we were pretending to be married."

"That was different."

Tony ignored the green light just long enough to see her expression turn from curious amusement to confusion. "What do you mean?"

He turned back to watch the road. "We were under cover. We were being watched, maybe even listened to. Had to play the part. No time to think about anything else. This isn't under cover. It's real and I'm not playing a game trying to fool anyone, least of all you." Tony could see Ziva's expression as she regarded him. Puzzled curiosity. "During that op, we got a taste of what could be. Over the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about it."

"As have I. I think we'll have a lot of fun together, Tony."

Tony smiled. "That was never in question. That op though…I was really scared you were going to get killed. Made me think about the future. Either one of us could have died."

"Tony, I know you acted in order to save me…"

"And I'd do it again," Tony interrupted, "but that's not the point. The point is that I was thinking that we could have more than fun."

They arrived at the restaurant and Tony parked. He turned to her and held her gaze. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Ziva's expression was a mix of amusement and questioning. "I think I do," she assured him, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Tony sagged with relief. "Great," he said, his smile stretching across his face. "Come on, hopefully Helena will be here."

"Who is Helena?"

"Owner. If she's here, she'll ensure we have a great table. I'm one of her favorites."

"So you've brought dates here before."

It wasn't a question and Tony frowned a little but let it go, realizing he shouldn't be surprised she thought that. "No," he said softly, smiling a little. "You're the first date I've ever brought here."

It was Ziva's turn to be surprised and she blinked before recovering. "I am flattered."

"Good." They exited the car and Tony took her hand as they walked to the door. Her hand felt small and soft in his hand and though he knew she could beat the crap out of him with those hands, for now, he just enjoyed her softer side.

Helena was indeed there and she hugged Tony, happy to see him. Her face lit up when he introduced Ziva. "Anthony, this is wonderful. I have just the perfect table for both of you. Come with me."

As Tony expected, they were seated near the fireplace. It was near enough to enjoy the flickering flames, but not so close to be roasted by the heat pouring out of it. Tony smiled and thanked Helena who then left them to look over the menu.

Tony smiled. "I've tried most everything on the menu. I've never had a bad meal here."

Ziva nodded and focused on her menu. When she decided, she relayed her choice to Tony and he smiled. When their server came to take their order, Tony ordered for both of them and ordered a bottle of good red wine. Ziva looked surprised again, but Tony was looking at the server, not at her so he missed it. Ziva swallowed hard. The wine he had ordered was not cheap.

After the server walked away, Tony smiled back at Ziva and for a moment neither knew what to say. Laughter bubbled up unexpectedly loudly from a nearby table and both Ziva and Tony looked over as the woman covered her mouth and blushed, realizing a moment too late how loud she was. Ziva and Tony smirked a little and looked away and Ziva took the opportunity to look around the restaurant as a whole. "This is very nice, Tony. How did you find this place?"

Tony smiled. "A couple of months after I started at NCIS, I had a long weekend and I stumbled on it while out for a run. My first apartment was just a couple of blocks from here. I came here for dinner that night and been coming back at least once or twice a month ever since."

"The hostess seemed to know you quite well."

Tony smiled and shrugged. "She loves all her regulars."

Conversation stopped as the server returned and poured their wine. They sipped delicately on their drinks and then their server returned with their salads. They both ate in companionable silence and the lettuce was so crispy, they both laughed as neither could avoid the crunch.

"The dressing on the salad is very good," Ziva said after swallowing a bite. "I've never tasted anything like it."

"It's their house dressing. I've been trying to get the recipe for years but Helena won't give it up. 

"I did not know you could cook."

"I can cook a few things. I kind of like it. It's like doing science experiments you can eat."

Ziva laughed. "That sounds like something Abby would say."

Tony chuckled. "She might have. Got me thinking about food in a different way. Made it fun, instead of a tedious chore."

"That is true. I love to cook." Ziva smiled and took another bite and looked thoughtful for a moment while she chewed and swallowed. "I cannot be sure but I think this has malt vinegar in it."

Tony froze and then his eyes grew wide. "I never thought of that. I'm going to try it with that."

Ziva blinked. "You've been trying to duplicate the recipe?"

"Yes. Been trying on and off for years. I've come close but there's always something missing. Could be that vinegar. Thanks, Ziva."

"If you figure it out, I would like the recipe as well."

Tony smiled. "Absolutely," he vowed and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe we can cook together sometime soon then."

"Oh, I am sure we will." Ziva grinned playfully across the table.

Tony smiled back though he suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. It may or may not have been sexual innuendo, he wasn't sure. He didn't have time to think about it further as their entrees arrived and more wine was poured. Conversation was light as they ate and they fell into a companionable ease as their hunger was sated. As Tony promised, the food was very good.

Helena stopped by their table toward the end of the meal. "Anthony, I trust everything is to your satisfaction?"

Tony looked at Ziva and smiled. "Everything has been wonderful, Helena."

Helena smiled and looked over at Ziva. "In all the years Anthony has been coming here, this is the first time he has ever brought a date. You must be very special."

Ziva blushed but nodded demurely. "Thank you. Everything is delicious."

"I am so happy to hear that. I hope to see more of you in the future. Now, if you both will excuse me, I must get back to the kitchen." She smiled and padded off and left them alone again.

Tony smiled. "Would you like to have dessert? They are just as wonderful as the rest of the food."

Ziva smiled and shook her head no, her hand dropping as though to protect her stomach. "I don't think I could eat anything more." She finished the last of her wine.

By some unspoken agreement, it was time to leave and Tony signaled for the check. After he paid the bill, they walked quietly to the car and Tony held the door open for her and closed it once she was inside.

"So what do you want to do now?" Ziva asked him, her voice held a hint of sultriness.

Tony smiled, neither acknowledging or ignoring her tone. "Well, I know of a place that does some live theater - short plays, skits and sometimes dramas and musicals. They do multiple shows an evening. They also have a dinner theater with a longer production. The shorter ones usually last 30-45 minutes. I thought maybe we could go check out one or two of them.

Tony glanced at her out of his peripheral vision and saw the surprise on her face once again. "That sounds very nice, Tony."

He smiled, relieved she liked the idea. "Great."

The theater was only about ten minutes away and they arrived on time as the next show was almost set to start. Tony bought tickets and they found a table close enough to the stage to see everything but not so close that it was overly loud. The place was near-full, there was only one small table or two that were empty and after a server brought their drinks, the show started.

In moments the crowd was laughing as the actors were comedy geniuses and the skit was a comedy of errors. During one of the scenes, one actor smacked another in the back of the head and both Ziva and Tony laughed loudly, unable to hold it in. The actors got into an argument before the other returned the head slap and the scene morphed.

Forty minutes later, Tony and Ziva left the theater still laughing as they chatted about the skit.

"Did you see the look on the tall actor's face when he got slapped by the short guy? I think that was improv."

"I believe so too," Ziva agreed. "The woman who had the cane…I thought she was going to trip Sam when he kept forgetting to say the magic word."

Tony laughed. "That would've been slapstick at its best. I would've loved to see that."

They chatted on and what seemed a very short time, Tony pulled up in front of Ziva's apartment building and he got out and walked over to open her door for her and took her hand to help her out. "Such a gentleman," she teased him with a smile as he closed the door and locked it.

As they walked upstairs, Tony chuckled again. "Did you notice the actor in the background whose shirt kept riding up and he kept trying to pull it down?"

"You mean the 'serious' salesman?" Ziva asked as she unlocked the door.

"Yeah, him. His facial expressions were classic. He reminded me of Laurel from Laurel and Hardy."

Ziva laughed as she stepped inside. "I have not seen Laurel and Hardy since I was a child and it was only once."

"Oh, Z, you gotta see them again. They were hilarious."

Ziva nodded as she closed the door behind Tony and he helped her out of her coat and hung it up for her on the coat tree before doing the same for his own.

"Would you like a drink?" she asked.

"Sure," he said with a smile.

"Sit down." She poured some wine for both of them and joined him on the sofa, sitting close to him. He put his arm around her and she leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. "The restaurant and the theater were lovely, Tony. And you even managed not to make a silly joke the whole time."

Tony chuckled. "Hey now, what's wrong with silly jokes? Laughing's always good."

"I meant that they were not completely…what is the word? Uh…corned?"

Tony chuckled. "Corny."

She snapped her fingers. "Yes, that's it. They were not corny."

Tony squeezed her arm a little to give her a hug. "Oh come on, you like my corny jokes and you know it."

"Sometimes…maybe, perhaps." She teased and looked up at him. He leaned down and lightly kissed her lips. He smiled at her. "Do you want to watch a movie? Should be something decent on tonight."

Ziva chuckled. "You and your movies. Certainly, we can come up with something better to do than that, yes?" She leaned in and kissed him lightly, her lips warm on his.

He smiled and kissed her back, one arm wrapping around her of its accord. They pulled away briefly before she kissed him again, this time trying to deepen the kiss.

A flash of memory from the undercover op flashed in his mind and as tempting as it was to give in, there was too much at stake. "Wait, Ziva, need…to talk," he said against her lips.

She pulled back briefly, her eyes concerned. "Tony? What is wrong?"

"Nothing. I just…I don't want to rush…" He found himself out of breath all of a sudden and paused to take a deep breath.

Ziva chuckled. "We will not rush but I have thought about nothing else all week," she took advantage of his silence to kiss him again, stealing his breath away and straddled his lap.

Tony wanted to keep going, he loved how she felt against him but as difficult as it was, he placed his hands on her hips and pushed her back a little.

"Ziva," he gasped against her again.

"Shut up and kiss me, Tony," she said against his lips.

"Wait, Ziva. Ziva!" He forcefully pulled back and held her steady. "I don't think you understand what I meant."

She was breathing hard and the confusion in her eyes made his heart ache a little. "What?"

Tony gently pushed her off of him and she sat back, confusion and frustration warring in her face. Tony rubbed both hands down his face. "I didn't intend for us to end up in bed tonight."

Ziva blinked once, her face frozen in a cross between disappointment and confusion. "But this is what we both want."

"Yes, but that's not all I want." Seeing the expression on her face, Tony groaned with frustration. "God, I'm making a mess out of this."

"Tony, what are you talking about?"

"I mean that I don't want a one night stand."

"Yes, I get that. You want friends with benefits."

It was Tony's turn to look at her, dumbfounded. "How do you even know that expression?"

"That is the right one, right? Friends with sex?"

Tony huffed out a laugh. He couldn't help it but at least things were becoming clearer.

"That's the right expression but that's not what I meant."

Ziva hesitated a moment, her eyes searched his.

He brought his hand to her cheek and lightly stroked it. "Ziva, I care about you a lot. There was a connection between us right from the start. I think we could have more than just a night, more than friends with benefits." Tony reached down with both hands and reached for hers, lacing his fingers between hers. "I meant a relationship."

Ziva's mouth fell open, shock completely erasing every other emotion in her face. It took a moment and then her face lit up in a smile. Tony started to smile back but her smile kept changing, growing into amusement and then laughter. "Oh, Tony, I have to admit, I believed you for a moment. You did say I should laugh more and…" She chuckled a moment longer and glanced back at Tony who simply stared at her, not a trace of amusement in his face at all. She blinked again and the laughed died. "Tony?"

For a moment he just wanted to get up and bolt but he needed her to understand. Gaining control over his wayward emotions, he attempted to smile though even he felt it fail. "I wasn't joking. Tonight was about showing you I was serious about you. Not here to use you."

She searched his face. "You are serious?"

Tony's face, already warm, grew hot and he flinched internally. That Ziva found this funny, maybe he played the part of the womanizer a little too well. "That really so hard to believe?"

Ziva frowned but met his gaze. "Honestly, Tony, yes it is. You have never once shown that you could be serious about relationships."

"That was because until you, I hadn't met anyone I would consider being serious with."

"But you would with me?"

"Gibbs' rule 12, never date a coworker. I know you haven't been on the team very long but I've never broken his rules lightly."

"When he finds out, he will…"

"He already knows."

"What?"

"Before I asked you out tonight, I told him I was going to break rule 12."

Ziva's jaw dropped again. "What did he say?"

Tony shrugged. "Doesn't matter. There are no official rules against agents dating. Not much he could say except 'keep it out of the office.' I think we could be really good together and I would like to try." Tony held her gaze, searching her eyes the way she did his, hoping to see some glimmer of recognition that they were on the same page.

Ziva looked away, all traces of laughter gone. "You have talked so much about your conquests, I thought that is what you wanted."

Tony sat back down and reached for her hands with his own, his face serious. "Ziva, you're an amazing woman. I wouldn't use you like that for a one-off. I know I talked a lot of crap at work but I'm not all about sex and frat parties."

Ziva's stunned expression kept him talking, trying to reassure her. "Do you really think I'd break one of Gibbs' rules if this was just about getting off? I wouldn't do that."

Ziva visibly stiffened as she thought about everything she'd just heard. After a moment, she stood up, pulling away from Tony's light grasp of her hands, and paced, her countenance upset. "I am sorry, Tony, but I do not think this is a good idea. There is too much at stake."

Concern flashed across his face and even Ziva could not dismiss the flicker of pain she saw in his eyes. He stood up. "Ziva? I promise, this is not a joke. I'm not playing you."

"I realize that," she said, and swallowed hard. "But I…I can't do this."

Tony couldn't take his eyes off of her. She seemed torn over the situation and he hated seeing her look so upset. "Ziva, I realize I've led you to believe that I'm nothing but a player but with you…"

"Please, Tony, stop," Ziva commanded though there was no heat in her words. "I did misjudge you and it is a lot to take in. I just…I just thought we would have some fun, get the sexual tension out and go forward from there."

Tony winced. "I never intended for this," he waved between them, "…to be casual. I thought we could do this and still work together without our jobs being affected. Otherwise, I never would've taken the chance on us."

Ziva nodded, her face sad and grim. "I understand now. I am sorry I laughed. I really thought you were trying to make me laugh. Tonight was really very nice but I cannot do this, Tony. I am sorry."

"What do you mean you can't?"

Ziva swallowed hard and Tony could practically see the thoughts racing through her mind as her eyes gave her away. Whatever she was about to say wasn't going to be the truth, but he had the impression she didn't want to lie either.

"I am not ready for anything serious. I still…want you, Tony, but friends with benefits is the most I could give."

It was Tony's turn to be surprised. "But…at work, you've given me such a hard time about my one night stands. I thought you believed one night stands were immature. I thought you wanted something serious."

"I was teasing you, Tony. Banter, like we always do. I had no idea you would take that seriously. I am not ready for…for this."

Silence followed her words, a heavy, mood-dampening and thick silence. As the words sank in, Tony stiffened and the mask came down over his features. He cleared his throat before speaking, his voice as stiff as his body. "Then, I guess it's better that we know this now rather than later." He stood up and walked to the coat rack and grabbed his coat and put it on.

"You are leaving?" Ziva asked, puzzled. "Tony, we can still--"

"No," he interrupted, a touch of bitterness in his voice. "I don't want to just 'have fun' with you, Ziva. I could get that anywhere." He unlocked the door and turned the doorknob before turning back to look at Ziva, who still stood there stunned. "Good night, Ziva," he said in a quiet voice before opening the door, stepping out and closing it softly but securely behind him. If he had looked back, he would've seen Ziva's eyes water as she watched him go.

He held his head up high as he walked to the car, wondering if she was watching him out the window. He kept his posture straight until he had driven away.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony cursed himself for a fool that night after he went home, replaying the conversation over and over. She kept saying 'can't.' He wondered why not. She wasn't ready? He'd never had the impression her so-called banter about his one night stands was a joke. She seemed to really think he was immature. Maybe she just didn't believe him? That was possible, he supposed. He huffed in frustration. He could still feel her body against his from earlier and for a moment he regretted not taking what she had to offer. He felt colder now where she'd laid against him. He thought about pouring himself a drink but decided he'd had enough wine earlier. He sat on his couch, his head back staring at the ceiling as the evening; well, week really, playing out in his mind. Maybe he should've asked Gibbs what had happened between him and the Director. Maybe if he'd known, he could've done something to preempt what had happened between him and Ziva. He remembered Gibbs asking if he wanted his opinion. Maybe he should've let the man speak. He wondered if it would've made any difference. Of course, at the time, he hadn't wanted Gibbs' opinion out of fear that Gibbs would tell him he was stupid and he hadn't wanted to hear it.

He sighed. He knew it was too late but now, he felt an overwhelming need to know what Gibbs had wanted to say. He changed out of his date clothes and put jeans and a sweatshirt on and drove to Gibbs'.

He found the man in his basement, as usual. Gibbs looked up when Tony appeared at the top of the stairs, clearly not expecting the man. Gibbs looked at his watch and opened his mouth to speak but Tony beat him to it.

"Tell me what you were going to say when you asked if I wanted your opinion," Tony said without preamble.

Gibbs looked at him a moment, obviously trying to get a read on him. When he wasn't successful, he shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Yeah, it actually does."

"Come on." Gibbs slapped sawdust off his jeans and headed upstairs. Tony was curious but followed him to the living room. "Sit." He pointed to the couch.

Tony's eyes went wide. This was uncharacteristic. For a moment, Tony thought Gibbs was going to get out the good bourbon but instead Gibbs just sat down next to him and turned toward him.

"Why does it matter now?"

"Just tell me, Gibbs." Tony tried to keep the impatience out of his voice but failed.

Gibbs sighed. "You ever hear the expression, 'Chase her until she catches you'?"

Tony frowned but nodded.

"That's what Ziva was doing to you. She was letting you chase her, driving you crazy until she caught you. Once she caught you, she'd lose interest and let you go."

Tony's frown turned to a scowl. "You do realize this is Ziva we're talking about, right? Your new favorite?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "What happened?"

Tony huffed, too drained for sarcasm. "Exactly what you said," he admitted, his voice sounding hollow even to himself.

"If you'd known that before you asked her out, would it have made a difference?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"No, it wouldn't. You were going to see this through no matter what anyone else said. You had to find out the hard way."

Tony rubbed both hands down his face. "I don't know if listening to you would've worked. But you were right."

Gibbs nodded. "At least you found out now before you got in too deep."

Tony snorted. "That's what I said to Ziva before I left."

"You didn't sleep with her?"

Tony looked over at Gibbs like he was nuts. "After that humiliation? No way!"

Gibbs frowned. "What happened?"

"She laughed when I told her I wanted a relationship. She thought I was joking." Tony sighed. "That's on me, I guess, played the dumb frat boy too well."

Gibbs frowned. "If she's not smart enough to see through your BS, she doesn't deserve you anyway."

"My BS?"

"I know how much you work. You don't have time for all the one night stands you brag about."

Tony snorted. "Should've known that didn't get past you."

"You need a woman who sees through your crap and calls you on it. Ziva can't even see through her own crap." Gibbs turned a half-glare on Tony. "And she's not my favorite."

"Yeah, I know. Abby is."

Gibbs cuffed him in the back of the head though lighter than usual. "You, DiNozzo, though if you tell anyone I said that, Abby will get bumped up."

Tony smiled, warmth flooding his veins. "Gotcha, Boss." He was quiet for a minute. "I should've known it wasn't going to work out," Tony said softly, pain flitting across his face.

"You did but loneliness drives people to do things even when they know better."

Tony frowned. "How'd you know I was lonely?"

"Men who work as much as we do are lonely, otherwise they wouldn't do it."

Tony gave him a look. "You really are a bastard, Boss."

"Not news, DiNozzo." Gibbs was quiet a moment, then turned back to Tony, his eyes narrowed and his mouth set in a grim, straight line. "She really laughed?"

Pain soured Tony's face. "Yeah, but she stopped when she realized I wasn't joking. Said she couldn't do this."

"Bitch," Gibbs muttered, reaching over squeezed Tony's shoulder and walked to the kitchen and returned with two tumblers and the bottle of the good bourbon. He poured a drink for each of them.

Tony accepted the drink and after clinking glasses in a toast, down them. Tony sighed and set his glass down. "I should've listened to you."

Gibbs shrugged. "You had to know if there was something more than sex there."

"I should've just gone for sex."

"You would've regretted it."

Tony huffed. "Yeah, probably."

"Don't give up. The right woman is out there."

"Yeah, right."

Gibbs cuffed Tony in the back of the head.

"Thanks, Boss. I needed that."

Gibbs snorted and poured them each another drink.


	4. Chapter 4

On Monday, Tony arrived at work on time dressed in one of his expensive power suits and a big smile. His good morning included Tim and Ziva. He could see she watched him warily, not sure what to expect and it occurred to Tony that Ziva must've been a terrible spy. She projected her thoughts through her eyes and body language too readily. She could play a role okay but she could never do deep undercover. Besides, it wasn't like their undercover act required that much pretending. Lying in bed making out, pretending to have sex was relatively easy compared to pretending to be in the mafia or something requiring a deeper cover. She wouldn't have lasted a week in Philadelphia when he went undercover.

In order to avoid being asked about his weekend, Tony went out of his way to be as annoying as possible. He wadded up paper and tossed it to hit each of them in the head, talked endlessly about everything and nothing until both Ziva and Tim were practically yelling at him to be quiet.

When Tim finally blurted out, "Do you have to be so annoying all the time?" Tony just grinned and launched a lecture about the most annoying movie characters. Tim and Ziva both groaned. Ziva had opened her mouth to say something but never got the chance. Gibbs showed up, slapped the back of his head.

"Shutting up, Boss."

"Gear up, dead petty officer in the Potomac."

Tony grimaced. "Great, bloated, half-eaten body. What a great way to start the week."

Gibbs cuffed him in the back of the head when they reached the elevator.

Later, while processing the scene, Tony and Ziva periodically stole glances at the other but avoided eye contact. Ziva looked bothered and Tony was quieter than usual.

Tim ended up working beside Tony at one point. "So how was your weekend?" he asked conversationally.

"Fine. Yours?" Tony asked, not really wanting to talk about it but if he didn't, Tim would get suspicious and he really, really didn't want to talk about Ziva.

Tim's eyes narrowed. "That's it? Fine? Usually, you can't wait to tell me every detail."

"Yeah, well, I was busy this weekend. Nothing to tell."

"That's a first. What were you so busy doing that you have nothing to tell?"

Tony plastered a fake grin on his face. "Every time I try to tell you about my partying, you just tell me to grow up."

Tim rolled his eyes. "I should've known." He walked away shaking his head and missed Tony's triumphant grin.

~*~

Later, Ziva followed Tony into the mens' room. No one else was in there and Tony smirked at her. "You know, they make rooms like this just for women. It's right next door." He pointed in the direction of the ladies' room. She just stood there. He rolled his eyes. "Do you mind? I'm not in here because I like the tile design."

"I want to talk to you."

Tony waited.

"I did not mean to hurt you."

Tony's face was carefully neutral, gave nothing away. "I'm fine."

Ziva frowned. "I really thought you were joking to make me laugh."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Under the circumstances, that would've been the worst time to interrupt just to make you laugh. Even I know enough to not stop a woman when she throws herself at me…if that was the only reason I was there to begin with."

Ziva blushed. "I just could not believe you wanted something serious."

"Yeah, well, I can't believe you wanted something casual so we're even."

"I do not want you to stay angry with me, Tony."

"I'm not angry."

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"Because you are acting like you always do but Friday night you seemed upset."

A flash of memory of Gibbs saying he was his favorite and then calling Ziva a bitch in commiseration made Tony smile brightly. "You know me, Ziva. Nothing gets me down for long. I'm over it."

"So you did not really want a relationship after all?"

Tony hesitated. Torn between wanting to change her mind and protecting himself, he snorted though it came out forced. "I thought I did but I changed my mind. If anything, this whole thing showed me why rule 12 works." He smirked. "Now, if you don't mind, I really have to go and I don't need backup." He jerked his head briefly toward the urinal he stood in front of and then turned toward it, a clear but not unfriendly dismissal.

Ziva left, much to his relief. At this point, he could only hope she took him at face value. Maybe continuing to act immature would do it. After he washed his hands, he took out his phone.

Tony returned to his desk a couple of minutes after Ziva and got back to work. A few minutes later, his phone rang and he looked at the caller ID and grinned, answered it. "Hey gorgeous!" Both Tim and Ziva stopped and watched. "Yeah, we're still on for tonight. Yeah, 8 o'clock it is. I'll meet you there." He hung up the phone and caught Ziva and Tim looking at him and he grinned wolfishly at both of them.

"Hot date, Tony?" Tim couldn't help but ask.

"Oh yeah," he emphasized, smirking.

"What's this one's name?" Tim persisted.

"Ashley."

"Didn't you date an Ashley a couple of months ago?"

Tony shrugged. "Different Ashley. It's a pretty common name."

Tim rolled his eyes and out of his peripheral vision, Tony stole a glance at Ziva whose eyes narrowed at him. "You never change, do you Tony?"

He turned the wolfish grin on her. "Why change what's not broken, Zee-vah!"

Tim was watching so she made a derisive noise, rolled her eyes and then ignored him. Once she felt sure Tim was no longer paying attention to them, she looked up at Tony and he caught her glance. For a moment, their eyes locked, pain reflected back to each of them. Tony wondered what she was hiding and realized her look held regret. Whatever reason she felt she couldn't do a relationship with him wasn't the whole story, but she was unwilling to reveal that story. He sighed. Maybe it was for the best. He hated seeing that look on her face. Since nothing was going to happen between them, and he had started this, it was his job to fix it. He noted the wads of paper he had tossed at Tim and Ziva that they had thrown back at him. Smirking, he picked them up and started juggling them before resuming the game of aiming for their foreheads. Ziva gasped out a laugh as one hit her dead center and she tossed it back hard, amusement in her face. Amusement and relief. Tony chuckled out loud when two wads of paper hit him back simultaneously. Just like that, the tension was gone.

~*~

That night, alone in his apartment, Tony sat on his couch and flipped through the photos on his phone. He stopped on one and stared at the photo of Ziva he had taken surreptitiously while they had been out on their date. It had been taken in the lobby of the theater as they were leaving after the show and a natural, unassuming smile had lit up her face as they laughed about something they had seen. In that moment, her face was innocent, uncalculating and guileless. That was the Ziva he had fallen for but he realized now that the woman in the photograph was the Ziva she was under all the Mossad doctrine, and that she would rarely see the light of day. Her life simply did not allow her to hang onto that.

He thought about the look she gave him when he told them about "Ashley." He wondered if she realized he had made her up to get things back to 'normal' between them or if she had really believed it. It probably didn't matter because the result was the same. Status quo. He wondered what she meant when she said she couldn't do this. Maybe she'd tell him someday, but he doubted it. What was clear it was more to it than he realized. Her father maybe? She was Mossad, maybe political, maybe dear old dad wouldn't approve of her being involved with an American. Still though, she was independent. Maybe something else.

He stared at the photo for another moment. Making a decision, he pulled his laptop over to him and booted it up and plugged in the phone to the computer and downloaded the photo he took of Ziva onto it. He thought about keeping that photo on his phone but decided against it. It was an unguarded moment and he didn't want to share it with anyone, should someone else ever see it. He password protected it on his computer. He wanted to keep the photo to remember that she was more than Mossad. He moved the photo to a more obscure location on his computer. He didn't want it easily found if someone were to go snooping. Of course, McGeek probably would find it in minutes, if not seconds. Tony smirked a little. Hiding anything on a computer with McGee around was impossible anyway. He closed his laptop with a snap.

As he fell into bed that night, he reminded himself to never take a first date to Helena's again. From now on, that would wait until it was serious…If he ever found anyone to be serious with. Maybe someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Deep Blue Joy for the beta.


End file.
